MAKING FRIENDS

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

As a kid, making friends is easy. You just need a shared love of soccer, Barbies, or Finding Nemo. Then when you get to college, almost everyone is looking for new friends and there are enough school events, mixers, clubs, and sororities that it's easy to find "your group." But what happens when you're in your late 20's (almost thirties, gulp!) in a new city without any defined community? How the heck are you supposed to meet new people?

Before we even decided to move to SF, I'd read this article in the New York Times about making friends as an adult. At the time, I thought it was really interesting but now, I totally get it. The process is H-A-R-D and lonely. I keep waiting for Monica, Rachel, Pheobe and Chandler to show up at the coffee shop under our apartment, but it's just not happening. I don't think they're coming.

So, I need a plan. Currently, I'm a) stalking interesting people and asking them to coffee (2 dates this week already!) and b) looking for a job that gets me out of the house (this working-from-home thing isn't helping.)

Tell me, internet people: How do you make new friends? Does it ever get easier?

via le joli collar

19 comments:

  1. Nope, it doesn't... Sorry :) For me it is finding a church home that is most important and then getting out of the house, which I am not good at. We have relocated this year as well and it's definitely a struggle. Keep plunging along! Love ya!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Tiff. It's nice to know I'm not alone!

      Delete
  2. http://www.meetup.com/

    Never used it but heard good things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea, I've done a little research on the site! It can be a little overwhelming though. So many groups to choose from, I don't even know where to start! :)

      Delete
  3. Meetup.com is good. Look into doing some networking events. And the job will definitely help. Keep pushing on and keep asking people to coffee!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks TiAnna. Whew - who knew this was so much work! xo

      Delete
  4. I feel ya! I've noticed that all my mama friends make new friends once they have a baby. So there's an option! ;) xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hah! Yikes! I'm not sure we're there yet - although, the thought has crossed my mind (and then quickly disappeared.)

      Delete
  5. This so much! I have made some lovely friends since my move to Aus but it is very hard to meet people as an adult, and I would love to meet more. Sounds like you are being proactive about it though - I think the key is to just say yes to every social invite that you get and extending a few invites too.
    The baby thing does seem like it would work, but like you that is a bit of a way away!!! And probs not the best reason for having a baby, ha :)
    Claire x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! Exactly... someday we'll be ready for kids, but not yet! I love hearing your story about making friends. It's SO nice to know I'm not the only one who's struggled with this. :)

      Delete
  6. check out Makeshift Society (amazing co-working space!) as an alternative to working from home. they also have great classes/workshops (both personal and business)
    sign up for one of Oh Happy Day! classes. Jordan hosts free classes like letterpress, braiding hair, and calligraphy). they fill up in seconds, but it's always a super rad group who attends! i've met lots of lovely gals through Jordan and her classes.

    check out Liz's column sites and bites from Say Yes to Hoboken. fun stuff!
    take a class from Skillshare. local and fun!
    other fun places for classes: Flora Grubb Gardens and Classes « workshop

    i lived in sf for awhile, but am in the 'burbs now- otherwise i'd suggest we hang out! when you're up for exploring the south bay, let me know :)
    hope this helps!!

    Best, Kate
    --
    JetKat Photo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Um, these are AMAZING suggestions. I totally just got lost on Skillshare for like a half hour.
      Thank you so much!! And, I'd love to meet sometime. I'll definitely let you know if I'm ever headed south.

      XO

      Delete
  7. Welcome to SF! I've lived in SF for about 10 years, but went through this same process about a year ago. I went on a ton of girl dates through friends of friends and twitter and my blog, people i had connected with, but not necessarily in real life. Networking in your industry or passion can also be great for getting out and meeting people with similar interests! Classes are another good option, it sounds like your into some DIY/crafty kind of stuff, I highly recommend workshop! http://www.workshopsf.org/

    xox,
    kate
    undeniable style

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I LOVE the Workshop website... and I can't wait to sign up for a class soon. Thank you so much for your suggestions! And, if you'd ever like to meet for coffee or drinks, let me know! I'd love to chat more. :)

      Delete
  8. I'm completely with you on this. A couple of years ago we moved cities - to no friends/job/life and basically started from scratch. I think only now are we starting to really develop strong friendships and thats mainly through work but we're getting there. So many people are in this situation, I just wish people would talk about it more, thank you for talking about it :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, thanks! I've been trying to be more open in my blog posts. And, it's been met with such positive response and support! It makes me keep wanting to be real about my struggles. :)

      Delete
  9. Creative mornings! Go go go! I do them here in NYC and they are the swellest. In fact, it looks like your next one is tomorrow. GO GO GO! http://www.creativemornings.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOVE this idea! Can't make it this morning - but I'm definitely planning to go next time. THANK YOU for the suggestion!

      Delete
    2. I often have trouble getting up for it, but I am ALWAYS glad I went. You will love it, I have no doubt.

      Delete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

hello lately All rights reserved © Blog Milk Design Powered by Blogger

^